Meta Getman

November 18, 2021

If you haven't read my first post on the topic of What Is a Fertility / Donor Conception Coach? make sure to take a peek at that post for some more context.  

There are many people working in the fertility space all with different backgrounds, experiences, certifications, etc.  So how do you find who works best for you?

Decide What Kind of Coach You Need

The first step is to figure out what you really need.  As much as we would love to work on all the things all the time, you are in a stressful place in life right now.  Struggling with infertility has been linked to the same levels of stress as someone going through cancer treatment so be gentle on yourself.  You have a lot going on.  Pick one thing you are most struggling with and work with a coach to address that issue.   

Not sure what your biggest struggle is? Ask yourself these questions (and maybe journal on them for a bit to figure it out)

  • What is your biggest struggle on this journey right now?  
  • What aspects of your situation are keeping you up at night?
  • If you could do X (i.e. connect with others, ask questions to someone who gets it, figure out y process) things would feel so much easier.

For my clients, the answer to this question is typically being afraid of donor conception due to their lack of knowledge around the process, not feeling confident in their decision to move forward with a donor, and wanting to connect with others who are using a donor to build their family. 

Find The Right Coach For You

When looking for the right coach, take into consideration: qualifications and types of support offered.


There are many people working in the fertility space all with different backgrounds, experiences, certifications, etc.  So how do you find who works best for you?

Take what you learned above, by figuring out what your biggest concern is that you want to work on.  Then decide what aspects about coaching work best for you.

Some coaches have educational degrees and certifications whose expertise comes out of their professional experience and education.  Other coaches don’t have formal education but have gone through the same journey you are on.  Their expertise is experience based.  I see myself as a combination of both.  I’ve gone through infertility (see my story here) and I’ve spent the past years learning how to support others through my own experiences, working with clients, and learning through research, conferences, and college courses. 

Types of Support

All coaches offer different types of support from one-to-one coaching to group programs to memberships.  Depending on the type of person you are and how you best succeed, will help you find the coach that is right for you.

Are you someone who needs one on one personal support and accountability? Then a coach who offers one-to-one coaching might be the best person for you.

Are you self-motivated and able to follow along without a lot of structure? A group coaching program or online course might be the best for you.

Do you like new content and have things change from time to time? A membership might be your best option.

For me, I love being able to go at my own pace but I also like having access to my coach and that personal relationship/accountability.  I like being in smaller groups vs large groups so a program with a group coaching element works well for me.  That is why I set up my program the way I did: online modules that provide the content and then group coaching where I can connect with my clients on a more personal level and provide that personalized support. 

As you start researching coaches, see what they offer and if that feels right to you.  If the structure of their program doesn’t feel like you will be successful, look for someone else. 

Get To Know Some People Before You Start

Most coaches are sharing their story and how they support their clients online in spaces where you can consume their content for free.  Instagram, Facebook, Podcasts and blogs are all ways you can engage with coaches to learn more about who they are, how they serve their clients and what their thoughts, beliefs and personality are like.  I encourage you to “get to know them” virtually.  Is their message resonating with you? Do you feel like they are talking to you directly? Does something feel “off”? All of these questions will help guide you to who you might want to work with.

Succeeding with a Coach

Finding the right person, and the right structure of a coaching program are important to being successful in working with a coach.  But even if you feel like you’ve found “the one”, know this.

You get out of any coaching program what you put in.  Your coach is there to guide you, cheer you on, ask questions, answer questions and to support you.  But your coach cannot do the work for you.  That is your job.  If you are not willing to put in the time and energy into the coaching program, then now might not be the right time for you to start with a coach.  There are so many amazing programs out there to support you but the program alone will not get you the change you are looking for.  Your energy and effort with the support and guidance of your coach will.

Get Started 

It can be hard to take the leap into working with a coach.  It can be scary to invest more money and time into something you are not sure is going to work (hello infertility in general).  In my experience, adding a fertility coach to your care team is a no brainer because they will help you get farther, faster, with less resistance than trying to figure it out on your own.

Don't forget to download my FREE Donor Decision Guide.  The guide is full of the key questions to consider when your doctor has just told you donor egg, donor sperm, or donor embryo might be your path to becoming a parent.  Click here to download it today! 

About Meta Getman

Meta Getman (pronounced "May-da") is a donor conception coach and mom to donor conceived twin girls who went through 4 IUIs, 3 fresh IVF cycles with her own eggs, and one donor egg cycle before seeing her big fat positive. Now she helps family focused, responsible, and thoughtful women and couples who have found themselves facing a path to parenthood they never imagined: using donor eggs, donor sperm, or donor embryo. She has been featured on multiple podcasts, spoken at the RESOLVE Midwest Family Building Summit and co-founded a community of families who used donor to have their children.